Module 2, Video 1: He Needs To Pursue

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Welcome to this module. Alright, we are in the module where I am teaching you all about how to start with the first stage of the three stages of love. Remember, love is a recipe. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go back to the previous previous video lesson where I talked about the biology of love. And the biology of love, women have their little recipe, which is experiencing the two neurotransmitters of dopamine and oxytocin. And for men, his love recipe is experiencing the transmitters of dopamine, testosterone, and vasopressin. There's other ones that people talk about. We talk about oxygen, we talk about men experience oxytocin just like women, but it affects them very differently. We have neuroepinephrine, there's serotonin, there's endorphins, there's all these other ones. But in the biology of love, from like the stages of from meeting you to getting you to commitment, so this module, we're talking about stage one, which is physical attraction. And this is, as you can notice, that the name of it is he needs to chase. This is the first stage of physical attraction, and he needs to come to you. I called them by these names. I'm naming them he needs to chase, he needs a challenge, he needs to give. Because these are the things that I want you to keep top of mind that he needs to be doing. If he's doing these things, if he's experiencing these things with you, then that means it's working. If he's ch if he's coming after you, if he's chasing you, that means it's working. If he's feeling challenged by you, if you're not making it easy, it's working. If he has to give to you, it's working. So that's why I called him by the three, that's why I'm naming these modules the three names, because I want these things to stay top of mind. I don't want you to focus on necessarily what you need to be doing. I want you to keep a watch on what he's doing. If he's doing those things, girl, you're you're in. Okay, and you're moving on to the next stages. Okay. So the first one, let's talk about what it means for him to chase. Why is it that when he's chasing, this means that he's in stage one? Well, I talked about this in the previous video. Is that when a man sees something, remember the pursuit spot? I want you to think of um the things that are going on in his brain at this point. When he sees something he likes, remember his vision? Let's talk about his vision first. When he spots something that he's interested in, what is it, what is it in his brain that, and what is it about a man that makes his the way that he views things different than a woman, right? Um, how does his brain work and how does his vision work to spot things? Why, what kind of a brain does he have? What kind of things does he spot? He spots things that are moving, right? So if you're sitting still, can he chase something that's sitting still? Can you can you run after something that's sitting still? No, ma'am. If you're just sitting there saying, I'm gonna sit here and look pretty, so he comes to me. Nope. You need to be busy, you need to be moving. Always be moving. If you want to attract a man to you, I want you guys to think of this stage. Even if you're in a relationship, let's say you're most women that that are watching this that are buying the feminine attraction system, is because you're single, you're newly single, you're ready to start dating again, you just got over um a long um breakup, you're newly divorced, whatever it is, you're back on the market and you want to, or you know somebody that you know you've seen a guy, you have a guy in your life that you like, he doesn't know yet because you're a lady and you're not going after him, right? And you are ready to um do it the right way. You know, Anabo, I want him to come to me. You need to be moving. Why? Men see things better that are moving. Guys, don't things that are just sitting still for some reason, for the way God built men, they're not interested in things that are just sitting still. You look boring. Think about it that way. You look like you don't have anything going on. Men want women that are happy, that are have things going on, that have a life, and that are doing things that require them to be moving. So think about the fact that if you're just sitting there and just like trying to get somebody to come to, he's not really interested in that. He's looking at the women that are having fun. He and by fun, I don't mean being a hobag or sleeping with a bunch of guys or just like loud and obnoxious. Well, a loud obnoxious woman get a guy's attention, yeah. He's not, she's not gonna keep it though. Because man doesn't want a loud and obnoxious woman. He doesn't look at her as somebody who's high value that he wants to keep. He wants someone valuable and he wants someone that is demure, respectable. He wants a woman that's next to him that he's proud of. He doesn't want the loud obnoxious person, but he does want someone that's moving around. Why are you moving around? Because you have a life. Because you have a life you love and you're busy and you're doing things. So, in order for him to see you and spot you first, you need to be moving. If you're not moving, ask yourself why? Why do you have a life where you're not doing things all the time? Why do you have a life where you're just home watching Netflix all the time, where you're just on social media looking at everybody else live their life? Why do you have a career that you hate that doesn't make you excited and you're not joyful? Why do you have it when you're not moving around and doing things that make you excited, right? Why do you have um a body or a lifestyle that is very sedentary? And maybe if you are that way, then you're probably overweight and you're not very happy with your body. You should be moving. Movement keeps you skinny, movement gives you energy, movement makes you happy. Movement gives you endorphins, movement gives you serotonin. Movement means you probably have hobbies, you have things going on, you have plans, you have a schedule, you're traveling. Think about your life. Are you moving? Am I moving out of all? Do I have a life where I'm constantly doing things where I'm excited about my life where I have plans? Do you not have plans? Are you not moving? This is the first thing that I need you to notice that a man looks for a woman that is moving. That's where he, that's who he sees. If you don't, if you're not doing anything and he can't see you, he's if you're not in his line of sight, he you guys, a man doesn't just get dropped off at your door like an Amazon delivery. As much as we'd like to think that we pray, because I'm a woman of of of faith, I believe in Jesus, I love um God. Um, I don't, I'm not naive to think that a man's gonna know who I am if I'm never out doing things. One of the things that I do do is I have a business that I love. I serve at my church, I love my children. Um, I have a career where I'm um having to put myself out there. I'm on social media, I'm on YouTube, I'm on Pinterest, I'm on TikTok, I'm on Instagram, I'm on um every platform um that I probably can be on because I need I want women to find me. So men are gonna see me everywhere because I put myself out there and I'm doing stuff, right? So this is my form of movement. I'm moving everywhere. He he's probably like, if a man Googles me, they're gonna find me everywhere. On a podcast, on YouTube, on Pinterest, on I mean everywhere. Spotify, you find me everywhere, right? Because I'm moving, because I'm doing things. Are you moving around? This is the first thing that you need to remember is you need to be moving for him to be attracted to you and see you. Remember, because that's how his eyes are. He doesn't see things that are, he doesn't, he's not attracted to, and he's not his vision isn't called to things that are sitting still. Okay, you need to be doing stuff. Think about even your Instagram story or your or your dating profile. Are your pictures um in your profile? Or are the are your stories or your your posts on your Instagram? Because let's be honest, it's it's um, we're in a modern world and we use social media a lot. Um, the things that you're posting, do you look like you have an active lifestyle? Are you moving around a lot? Does does it look interesting, right? Or is every picture you sitting at your desk, or is every picture you just at a dinner table or at on the couch? Guys want men want to see that you're you're active, that you're doing things, right? This makes you interesting. This brings up curiosity in him. He's like, What are you doing? Look, wow, she's in Rome, she's at work, she's cooking, she's at church, she's with her friends, she's out to dinner, she goes to the gym, she takes walks, um, she's with her friends, she's um, you know, uh reading books, she goes to the cafe, she's always out, she's always doing things. What this does is it creates a lot of curiosity. This is the main emotion that you're gonna be focused on in this stage is creating curiosity. Why? Curiosity makes him interested to know more. This, if you create curiosity in him, that means he doesn't understand what he sees, he doesn't have enough information, there's enough privacy where you're not giving away everything. There's a little modesty there where you're not like, oh, it's today, this is my whole schedule, and at 7 a.m. I'm gonna go here. And like you're not giving it all away, right? There needs to be some curiosity. But he does see you moving around. He doesn't know everything about you, but he knows enough to pique his interest because he sees you moving around and it creates interest and it creates attraction. Um, secondly, attraction, he's physically attracted to you. How do you make a man physically attracted to you? Listen, different men are attracted to different women. There is a man for every single woman. I don't care how tall you are, I don't care your skin color, I don't care your ethnicity, your race, your age, your height, your body weight, your hair color, the way you dress. There is a man that loves you exactly like you are. He is, there's a man waiting for a woman just like you, the exactly the way you are. Why do I say this? A lot of women, they mold themselves to look like the woman that they think a man is gonna like. And here's what, here's the the error in this faulty thinking. The problem with this is that you're gonna dress up and go to places and do things and say things and um look a certain way that you're and you're gonna attract a guy that wants this type of woman, let's say, and you're not that type of woman. And and when he gets you, you're gonna he you're gonna realize he's attracted to this woman that I've like acted like I am, and I'm actually not this woman. And you there's gonna be a part of you that feels very insecure with him because deep down you know that you are not this woman. It is painfully important. It is so important that you are you, that you are yourself. Men want a woman that is proud of herself, that is comfortable in her own skin, that is confident about the life she has. Doesn't matter what life you have, live it and be proud of it and show it and and and be okay with it and be and be proud of it. You may be watching this and you're like, I don't know about I'm in such a transitionary phase in my life. Um, I'm still not, you know, I don't have a career that I want yet. Maybe I'm still in college. Um, I'm in a I'm in my my my internship job. I'm in I'm in a part of my job that um I'm not, you know, my I don't um isn't where I'm supposed to be. It's okay. Wherever you are, own it. Wherever you live, own it. However much you weigh right now, own it. However you dress, own it. However your skin looks right now, own it. However old you are, own it. If you are divorced, own it. If you are 21, own it. If you're 53 and you're watching this, own it. If whatever religion you are, if you're not, if you don't have a religion, whatever you are, own it. Why? Nobody likes a person that is insecure and ashamed of the life they have. There's nothing attractive about that, sweetie. A man does not want a woman that hates her life or is embarrassed of it. If you're embarrassed of her life, I'm gonna be embarrassed of it. What this, what the screams to me is shame is I don't like the life I have. And if you don't like your life, I sure as heck I'm not gonna like your life. So it's important that regardless of where you are in your life right now, that you own it and you share it proudly. And you can say, yeah, you know what? Right now I'm in school, but I'm gonna be a doctor. You know, I um I'm in law school, but I'm gonna be a lawyer. Um, I live, you know, in the hood right now, but I'm saving my money. I'm saving all my money because I want to buy a house. I want to, or I want to get a new apartment. Or I'm I weigh this right now, but I'm like, I look at it, I go to the gym, I'm eating really healthy, I'm dropping 50, 80, 100 pounds. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna have my dream body. Um, my skin isn't really good, but I'm working on it. I'm gonna get it really good, you know. Um, I um don't, you know, my credit's messed up right now, but I'm working on it. I'm I'm paying all my bills on time, I'm making more money. I don't make a lot of money right now, but I'm gonna be a millionaire. Um, I whatever you are doing in life, um, if you don't have the clothes that you want right now, wear what you have with pride. Have the career you have with genuine honesty and say, this is who I am. You know what? Hold on one second. I need to plug in my charger. I need to charge my laptop, I should say. That wasn't even a sentence. I need to plug in my charger. Does that make sense? I guess kind of it does. Um, wherever I am in my life right now, I own it. This is the transitionary phase. And listen, most of us, you guys, if you're if you're somebody who has a growth mindset like me, I'm always developing, I'm always evolving, I'm always growing. So no matter where somebody finds me in life, I'm always probably working on a really great goal. It doesn't mean that I don't love where I am right now. I just um I just know that I'm working on something new, and but I still always love where I am. Why? Because I always measure who I am based on where I was before, not on if I'm there yet. This is a concept called The Gap in the Gain by Dr. Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan. If you haven't read that book, run out and buy it. It's so good. The gap in the gain. It's about being happy, about where you are now, being content, because you know that you're you're aiming towards something really big and something you're really excited about, even though you're not there yet. And but you know how far you've come and you're excited about who the person you are now because you're a person in progress. You're a person that doesn't ever aim for perfection because there's no such thing, right? Only Jesus is and God is perfect, but you're somebody who is proud of who you are. Um, you need to be yourself because you want a man that is attracted to who you are, not a fake version of you. If you get a guy based on a fake, fake, fake version of you, you will never believe that he loves you. You will always feel insecure, you will always feel fearful that he's gonna leave you for the girl that actually is that, and you will be needy. You will have a very needy energy, and that is the least attractive thing to a man. A man likes a woman that is confident despite where she is. You know why? Guys are really simple. Guys have this really, really healthy men, masculine men, they have this really beautiful um confidence in themselves. And they say, I may not be where I'm at yet because I have goals, but who I am right now, I'm light years away from where I was before. I've done a lot of work and I'm excited about where I'm going. And I want a woman that even though I'm in this transition phase or I'm I'm in a place, even though where I'm not there yet, but I'm I have a vision and I know exactly what I'm doing to get there, I want a woman that accepts me for who I am right now. They're very, very honest. And um, good men um want a woman to accept them like that. And they want a woman that feels the same way. They want a woman that's honest about who they are, who's really vulnerable and willing to be open about who she is, who, even though she's not where she um it ultimately desires to be, she's making the best out of life right now and she's happy about it and she's joyful. She's not ashamed, she's not embarrassed. So this is a this is a place in your life where you want a guy to be attracted to you for who you are. Remember, one of the things that I said in the beginning um in module one is a woman needs to be herself. And if you are not yourself and you are not loved for yourself, it makes you needy, fearful, and insecure. And these are the three main things that draw a guy away from you. He will run, he will subconsciously not respect you, and he won't be attracted to you. It makes someone really, really unattractive. Think about the men that you've met that have this very insecure, um, explainy energy. Well, you know, um, you know, I'm I'm I make a lot of money, but you know, I'm or like they just explain themselves because they feel insecure and they have to like make themselves better, or you can tell they're like putting on a show. No, that that energy is very unattractive. So the first one, you need to be moving, right? Busy life. And if you don't ask yourself, why don't I have a life where I'm moving around and doing things? Am I depressed? Do I need therapy? Um, am I not confident in my ill skin? Do I need to lose weight? Do I need to gain more energy? Um, do I need to make plans? Do I need to make more money so that I can make plans and have a life that I want? Um, do I need to just be more courageous so I'm doing things that that create the life I want so I have so I have things? Am I scared of people? Do I have healing that I need to um undergo so that I can be willing to go out and do things? Do I believe the world is unsafe? Again, do you need more therapy that you need to be done that you need, right? Um, you need to be moving. So a man wants a woman that's moving. Secondly, he wants a woman that is herself. He wants a woman that is happy and that um owns who she is. He wants a woman that is happy and comfortable in her own skin. So that's what he's attracted to. Again, it's not just physical attract, it's not just like the physical, but he is physically attracted to a confident woman that's comfortable in her own skin, regardless of the stage she is in her life, but that she's confident about where she is because she knows she's a work in progress, she's evolving, she's come a long way. You want to give off that energy, okay? And this makes him curious about you, right? You're not out there telling everybody what you're doing, but he knows enough to be interested to see you, see that you're happy. Wow, what is she doing? What why is she so happy? What's going on in her life that makes it makes it makes her so excited and joyful and laughing and smiling and she's so welcoming and she's so happy with people. I want to know what she's doing. Uh, he needs to see you. He needs to, you need to be moving, he needs to see the real you. Um, and when he's interested, he will come over. Okay. So remember, when he sees you with his vision and you're moving around, it lights and he's interested and he's attracted because you're being confident and happy and just having a great time and you're very present and enjoying your life. The pursuit spot lights up in his brain, it creates testosterone. The testosterone floods, he gets flooded with testosterone. It's like putting gasoline in his feet, and he will come over if he wants to know more. When he wants to know more, he will be uh testosterone makes him attracted, and dopamine makes him attracted to you, and it makes him come over to say, and he will send you a message, he will, you know, send you a DM, he will comment on your picture, he will talk to you at school, at work, wherever you guys are, he'll come no nearer to you, he will make a move. When a man is interested in you and he's attracted, and there's desire and there's testosterone and dopamine in his body, he comes, he chases you. This is the biggest part that I want you to remember. You need to be moving, you need to be happy, you need to be joyful, and he will come to you. Women do not go to him. This is the worst thing you could do. When you go to him, you give up. Remember, I said you give up, you make him miss out on the pleasure of having the pleasure of the thrill of the chase. Men want to be to the the ch he wants to chase after you, he wants to hunt. He's not gonna kill you. You're not prey, he's not a predator, but he does want to pursue you. He wants to feel like he he won you. And the first part of it is pursuing you. He wants to come after you. When I say chase, it just means pursue, it just means him go after you, okay? So here's what you need to start thinking about. Um testosterone's in his system, he's coming after you. If he's coming after you in any way, reaches out to you, DMs you, calls you, texts you, sends you a message, comments on your photo, likes your photo on a dating app, comes, talks to you, asks you out, he's coming towards you. This is what you want. This is attraction, physical attraction. Okay. So if you if you look at the the notes in this um in this module, I split it up into main things in the notes in here. Um, you'll notice that I split it up into cheat sheets, right? Each module has like main things that you need to keep top of mind. And in each module, I want you to stay focused on um what you um need to be thinking about. So your mindset, okay, you need what feelings that you need to be feeling that will make you do the things that you need to be doing, the actions you need to be taking, right? Moving, being happy, um uh um being confident in your own skin. Um, the thoughts that you need to be thinking. That, like, and I'm gonna explain each of these. Um, the actions that you need to be doing, the words that you need to be saying to him, um, and then the main things that you need to be thinking in this module, okay? When you do this, he will do that. I'm gonna I'm I wanna make it very easy here for you to keep in this section what you need to be doing so that he does this. So remember, in this physical attraction, he needs curiosity. Curiosity needs to be boiling up in him. When there's curiosity and there's dopamine because there's interest and desire, he um, his pursuit spot lights up and he doesn't know enough information, but he knows enough that he's like, Who is this girl? Like, why is she she's so happy, she's so fun, she loves her life. I wanna know more. Boom, he comes over. He will chase you, okay? These are the main things that you need to keep top of mind in this stage. Curiosity, curiosity. Curiosity means he doesn't have all the information. There's gaps in his information, right? If there's curiosity, he needs to know more. When men want to know more, they're gonna go to the source and investigate, right? He's gonna do his little research. All right, so um the physical attraction stage. Here's what I want you to keep on top of mind here. Live your life. Be you should you should have a life that you're living that you like, that you're interested in, that you get up in the morning and you're excited to live. If you don't, ask yourself why. And this is probably the biggest reason why men aren't coming up to you and pursuing you. Are you sad? Are do you not love your life? Do you not are you not doing things? Are you not courageously taking action towards things? Right, so um uh remember this live you should be living your life, you should have plans, schedules, things doing, hobbies, interests, all these things. Okay, you should be yourself again. Don't be somebody else. Don't look like Kim Kardashian, don't look like whoever. Be yourself. I'm me. Listen, you guys, if you guys um it's funny, I was making a post today about filming today, and I was talking about how I wear, I love blazers. I almost I think I have a blazer in every single color except purple. I need to get a purple blazer because I love purple. Um, and um I am somebody who, if I could wear a t-shirt and a blazer and jeans every single day, I would be as happy as a clam. I want a guy who is attracted to somebody who wears blazers a lot with blazers all the time. Why? Because that's who I am. And if he if he likes a woman who wears blazers, I'm your girl. If you're not attracted to me, then you're not gonna, and you probably don't like women who wear blazers because that's what I always wear. You always see me on camera and I'm always wearing blazers. I wear blouses too, but this is I I often wear blazers. I'm myself. I don't try to dress like anybody else. Um, I this is how I dress. I love, I love casual, uh professional looking, right? Um, be yourself, display who you are. Why? When you want somebody who is attracted to exactly who you are, not to Fulana, not to Maria, not to Sandra, not to Josie, not to Michelle, he needs to be attracted to you and whoever he sees, and whatever you're being, whatever you're saying, whatever you're doing, whatever you're um, however you look, whatever you're um feeling, however you talk, those things, if he comes over, he's attracted to whatever he's seeing. So make sure you're being you because he's attracted to you. And don't feel like you have to be anybody else. There's a man, like I said, there's a man out there for every single woman. There's a man out there that loves exactly who you are. Do not compromise this. You need to be yourself so you attract a man that wants you, okay? Um, dress how you want to dress, have the body that you want to have, right? Again, even if you're a work in progress, but people he could see that you're, you know, you somehow eventually mention that you're losing weight or you're on your way to your dream body or whatever. Or you have it now, right? You're very comfortable in your own skin. I'm very comfortable in my own skin. I love my body, right? Um, do you live where you want to live, right? Um, do you do what you want to be doing? Do you have hobbies that you want to have? Um, do you um have interests? Are you traveling? Are you doing the things that you're doing? Because this is where you're gonna find, you're gonna find somebody. A guy's gonna spot you at, you know, at cooking class, at painting class, at baseball, at the baseball games, if you like baseball and sports. I don't, but some a lot of you women do. Um, are you going to concerts? Are you traveling everywhere? Are you at business classes? Are you at networking events? Are you at coaching places? Do you go to church? Where you're you want to find, you want to be doing the things that you like because you're gonna find guys there that do the same things and our interests are good are gonna be one of the things that that um attract him to you because he's like we have a lot of things in common, right? I like a woman that does these things too. Again, the goal is to attract a man that wants you exactly as you are, he is attracted to a happy woman. This is probably um the point that I, other than moving around and being confident in your own skin and be and being yourself, is be happy. Why? You're welcoming and you're if you are doing what you love and you have a life you love, more than likely you're happy. If you're happy, you're welcoming, you're smiling, you're laughing, you're you're inviting, you're you are enjoying yourself where you are, you're focused on what you're doing. This makes somebody very attractive. This is a very, very attractive quality in a woman and a man. When I see a man um, you know, working out or or um in his business, really doing what he loves, um, he's always busy, he's always doing things like I don't care if it's a if it's base sports games or um um eating really healthy, has his he's working on a on a really big goal for his business, whatever it is, I'm really attracted to that because I see that he's busy, um, he's he's creating a life he loves and he's happy. When you're doing things that are happening, when when someone's happy, it makes you curious, like what kind of a life do you have? Okay. So here's what I want to know. I want you to see that when you um, when you are being yourself and you love yourself and you're moving around, okay, when you're happy, moving around, being yourself, um, what that does for him is you you will what you'll do is you will attract a man that wants whoever like whoever you are at that time, okay? Secondly, the mindset that you need to be having at this stage. I um think about these are the thoughts that you have. I love what I'm doing right now. Sorry, I'm reading my notes. I love what I'm doing right now. Um, I'm present in this moment and I'm having a great time. I love others. I've created a life I love. I'm comfortable in my own skin. I'm good at doing this. I'm getting better at doing this. Whatever it is, even if, like, let's say um I'm a coach, right? I create coaching programs. Um, I've I've um something new I'm doing is I'm creating my YouTube channel, I'm building my YouTube videos. I've never done it, but I'm willing to do it and be messy at it because um I want to do it. And I don't, I'm okay with people seeing me doing it messy, right? Another thing that I'm thinking of is the world is safe. Okay. Um, people, people are safe. I'm strong. I trust myself and I trust my intuition. And another thought that I'm having is when a man comes up to me and I'm happy doing things, and he let's say he comes up to me at a grocery store. Um, I because I believe the world is safe and I love people and I'm having a good time, I'll be like, oh, hi, you know. I I'm not even I'm not focused on other people. I'm just so focused on what I'm doing. Whether it's buying a head of cabbage and I'm trying to pick him out, you know, and he comes up to me, I'll I'll be happy, right? I'm never gonna be scared. He might surprise me, right? But um, I'm not like this scared little um baby uh that thinks the world is unsafe. If you feel that way, think about it. Think, think about whether you don't go places because you you you are scared of the world. This is this is not an attractive quality. There's things that deeper things that need to get healed there, yeah? Therapy, coaching, again, really important things, right? But the mindset that I'm having when a man approaches me is are you um are you a friend or are you foe? Meaning, um, I don't know you yet, but I'm willing to, if I if I like who you are when you approach me, I'm willing to get to know you, okay? And um, I'm willing to see if I like you. And that's it. I'm just open, I'm flexible, I'm adaptive, I'm willing to just see who you are, and but there's no pressure. I have no expectations at this stage. I don't know you yet. I don't know you enough to know. What if a man comes up to you and talks to you? He's like the owner of a restaurant and you thought he was like gonna hit on you, and he's and he's like married with like four kids. Um, don't have expectations. You're there doing whatever you're doing. You're so focused on your life that you love that if a man goes up to you, you're like, oh, what a surprise. How fun. Who are you? Fun, I'll get to know you. Um, but you don't have expectations, and you don't have, you're not like putting him on a pedestal and you're not like, oh, so flattered. It's just, who are you? I'm having a good time. You're kind of interrupting me, but okay, what's up? Why should I listen to you? And it's almost this energy of um, I'm willing to talk to you, um, but um uh who are you? I like what I see and I know so far. Let's say he's handsome and he's nice or whatever, right? Um, uh, he he's thinking, sorry, this is the part where he's thinking. He sees you and he says, I like what I see so far. Um, I want to know more. Let me see what's, let me see who she is because I want to know if there's, if there's, if we're compatible, if we're if we could get along, if we can get to know each other. That's it. Guys don't think a hundred steps ahead. They're very, very present. And they just say, I want to know a little bit more, and I want to see if we're if we get along. And that's it. We're friends. That's we're friends at this stage. Um, and you're you're that's all you need to be focused on is in this stage is I love my life. I'm happy. If if a man comes and talks to you, it's just, hey, what's up? Who are you? Why should I talk to you? Are you are you nice? Do I want you in my life? Because listen, I've created a life that I love so much that I want to know I'm I need to make sure that I like you, and if I if I need to invest more time in you. In this stage, um, the mindset that I want you to to remember here, right, is um, I'm having a great time. I love my life, I'm busy, I'm doing things. And if a man comes to you, it's like, oh, great. Uh I'm who are you? And are you nice? Do I want you in my life? Are you worth are you somebody worth getting to know? And it's almost this like protective part, like uh not in the sense where you don't like him and you're scared of him, but just who are you and why should I care? kind of a thing, where he should feel like, dang, I have to, I have to kind of like work for this. This isn't just not gonna make it easy. Remember, the next one is you're a challenge, right? You're not gonna just make it easy for him to just like you're not this easy going, oh hey, I'll go anywhere, you all go anywhere for you. I'm so flattered. Oh my god, nobody ever talks to me like this is such a blessing. No, no, no. I have a really busy life unless you have something really beneficial for me because I have a great life that I've created. I don't let anybody mess it up. I'm open, I'm flexible, I'm not guarded, and I'm not gonna like um cut you down and I'm not like defensive, but why should who are you and what are you offering me basically? Right? He's he's either he should come to you very much in a in a I don't want to say proposition way, but kind of like my name is you know Michael, I saw you, you seem really nice, or hey, you guys are in class or you're at work, you guys let's say you guys know each other in some way, right? But he he now reaches out to you in some cool way. No pressure here, guys. We you're not skipping, we're not skipping ahead. One of the things that you'll see in the never to do list is don't rush things and don't skip steps and don't force outcomes. Those are the three big big ones. The last one is no blaming, judging, it um criticizing. You'll see what that one is. But um, here you are simply in a place of uh, you know, who are you? Um I'm willing to get to know you, but I don't know you yet. But um uh why should why should I care? My life is really great. Um, you know, uh but we're friends, and and it's simply cool. Tell me why I should care, right? My life is great. You're not gonna mess it up. Um, I'm not defensive around you, but I do, I'm I am curious why I should even care who you are. Show me what you got, kind of a thing. Who are you? Show me who you are. That's that I think is um a very strong, confident. I have a wonderful life to to um I have a wonderful life that I've created. I don't just let anybody in. You have to earn your way in. And that is the that is a very feminine mindset. It isn't defensive, it isn't mean, it's not pejorative, it's not judgmental, it's not scared, um, it's not fearful. It's I I'm having fun, but like I don't just let anybody in my a wonderful club, like you kind of have to show me why I should care. And at first, we're just friends. I need to know you from a platonic level, and then maybe decide if there's something romantic, right? But at first, we're friends, we're friends, we're friends, we're friends. The next stage I go into this very heavily, but in the beginning, it's why who are you? And I'm open and I'm welcoming and I'm happy. Um, but you're interrupting this amazing life, and why should I, why should I uh like pay attention? What do you have to offer? Yeah. So um it's a very confident um place to be, but it is very, it's almost like a bit of skepticism and like not cynicism, but you're like, show me what you got. Yeah. Men like it. Men, men want to have to prove themselves. This is the challenge part that I've talked about that we're gonna learn heavily about in the next um in the next module. Um, he doesn't want someone that's just very easy to get. Why? When you show him who you are in your entire dating plate um stages, all the entire, all the three stages, the woman that you show him you are is the woman that he expects you to be and he believes that you will be later. Okay. So if you are somebody who's who when he meets you, you gave him your phone number so quickly, and you're like, oh my god, yeah, like you're so nice. Oh my god, I'm so excited that you came up to me. Like, um, nobody ever does this for me. Like, I let's, yeah, let's go out. I'll pay, I'll pay, I'll drive. And you just like make it so easy. He's gonna say, When we're married, guys don't think about this far out, but he's gonna think about this later. She was so quick to give me her phone number, so quick to just trust me, so quick to just um uh be flattered and trust me so quickly. She gives it away so quickly. Like this, this is uh, she she doesn't have a lot of boundaries. She doesn't respect herself a lot. Women who just like open openly let anybody in means that they don't have a lot of boundaries and they're just flattered by anybody. And he and a man wants a woman that when she's he's not there, he can trust that she's gonna protect herself and defend their relationship when he's not there. So think about when you are meeting him, this is the person that he's replacing you in his mind that you're gonna be later on. And if you're somebody who's too quick, very quick to trust, very quick to be flattered, very quick to just um offer anything up, a man will have fun with you. He'll listen, you offer it up on a silver plower. Are you kidding? A guy's gonna say yes to that. He'll have fun with you. He'll think of you as a good time, he's not gonna think of you as a long time. A man that sees that wants a woman that's long term is a woman that respects herself, that has boundaries, and that doesn't just trust anybody right away. It's somebody who has um boundaries, standards, values, and doesn't just give it away very easily. So you wanna come off as yeah, we can, but we're just friends. So don't it's nothing more. You're not gonna be saying this, but this is what you should be thinking. We're friends, like I'm willing to get to know who you are, but that's it. Like, you don't move on to the next stages and next levels in the game until I get to know you. Um, you don't get there, no one gets that that easily. That's like that's earned. You have to earn your way there, and that's the next step of emotional connection, okay? So in this stage, he's thinking, I'm interested. I like what I see, and I know so far just what I've seen her. Like, let's say he's seen you at church like for months and months. Um, I want to know, I'm curious about I want to know more because I don't know a lot. There, she hasn't given it all up and told me everything about herself just by me looking at her. And I want to know if we're if there's if there's compatibility there. What's I want to know what's in it for me. So I got I want to get to know her. He'll come up to you again. You're happy, you're fine, you could be surprised about it, but you're not just gonna give away your trust and just everything right away. You're not rushing, you're not skipping steps, you're not assuming he wants to marry you. It's just first step. He doesn't know you yet. I tell my clients, assume that they're a psychopath until they've earned your trust. And I know that sounds extreme, um, but in in my coaching program, um, a lot of the clients that I work with are used to just very easily giving away their trust or being way too defensive and not giving it away in extremes. And so I want you to um have this like fun middle of you seem nice, but until you prove that you're respectable, that you're that you are somebody that I should um care about, that I like or anything, you're you're there's a wall here. Like you don't get to come close to me. There's there's privacy there. There's that's what you don't know a lot. You're curious because I'm not letting you know a lot. Why? You don't people don't get to know more until they get close, both physically and then with time and with trust, right? We'll talk about that um a lot deeper in the next in the next module, okay. The next one, thoughts you should be having. Um, I don't know you, but I might be willing to to know you more. Okay. My life is already amazing, and I only let people that are let people in that are buyers. Okay, so let's talk about the buyers and the sellers. If you watched um my video training on how women, the one of the biggest mistakes that women make is that they are focused on they're selling themselves instead of being buyers. Buyers and sellers are different. Buyer sellers get rejected, buyers do the rejecting. I'm gonna say that again. When you have the thing that people want to buy, you people want, they're like, can I they're like, oh my god, can I can I buy it? Can I buy it? Um, you get to say, hey, hey, no, I I I only want one person to buy me. I'm like this exclusive Chanel bag. I always use Chanel bags as examples. It's so funny. Um, this is exclusive. I get to decide who's gonna own her because she's beautiful and precious and not you. I want to make sure you can take care of her. I want to make sure you're qualified to buy this bag, right? It's um I tell my clients to look at it like you're um you're a like you're um at a bank and you're qualifying somebody for a loan. You want to let someone borrow money that you know they can they're qualified to pay it back. So you're looking at FICO scores, you're looking at consistency at their job, their income, um, their ability to pay it back, right? Um, their references, things like that. So you want to qualify them. So in the beginning, you they're um they're you're qualifying them to see if they're gonna be somebody that you want to lend this to. Um, you're the buyer, right? You get to reject them or not. Sellers, people who are trying to sell themselves, do you want this? Do you want this? Do you want this? Do you want this? They always get rejected because they're out there pushing themselves on people. And it's this very needy, frantic, sales-y energy. People don't like sales people. We like people that are just making it very easy to buy and say, yeah, this is it. These are the great products. This is the great thing about this stuff. This is the these are the all the um features. This is the kind of person that buys it. This is how what your life will change if you have this. Um, it's so beautiful, it's so wonderful. This is a buyer. Um, this the buyer my mentality I'm gonna go into very, very deeply in the next module. But here, um, you have that buyers only want buyers to buy them. So think about it like this. If I'm high quality, I want to be with someone that's high quality. If I consider myself very valuable, I want somebody that considers themselves very valuable. I don't want, I don't want to be with someone that's like a loser, right? That's insecure, that you don't feel safe with someone like that, right? When you're a buyer, when you're high value, you want a buyer, you want high value too. A man, most men have this very beautiful confidence about them. They think that they're they're amazing and they're gonna be amazing one day. So they want amazing women. I'm talking about healthy, masculine, emotionally available men. This is how they think, okay. Um, and so um you want a man like that, right? You want someone that's very, very confident in himself. He understands his value. So you are you're a buyer. Remember, you have a beautiful life. You're like, whoa, whoa, who are you? You're just coming up to me and I'm busy doing living my life. What's up? Maybe I'll oh, so you're interested in me. Thank you. I appreciate that. Um, can I take you out to dinner? Uh maybe. And you're like checking him out. He seems nice, his energy is nice, he doesn't seem like a creep, right? Um, you're precious, you're the prize. And again, that's not derogatory. It's it's a very beautiful, humble way of saying um you have a beautiful life that you've created. Um, you don't want and just anybody in it because it's precious and you honor yourself and you have high values and standards and um um um you have a vision and you know where you're going. You want to make sure you're with somebody that has the same ideas as you, right? So you're very particular about that. So you have a buyer mindset, okay? Um let's see. So you're thinking, who are you, right? You're thinking also thinking, are you safe? Are you sane? Are you supportive? These are thoughts you should have. Again, these are all in your notes. Um, I don't trust you yet, right? Show me who you are. Why should I care who you are? Um, how do you benefit me? Well, why will you benefit me? Will you are you gonna break my life or are you gonna benefit it? Right? I already have a great life. This is amazing, amazing life. Okay. Um, and so when you come off that way, he's also thinking, too, these are the thoughts he's thinking, who are you? Um, why are you so happy? Like a man is thinking, this woman is like, she has a great life. She's so she's smiling all the time. She's such like just such good energy. He's thinking, um, what do you know that I don't know? This is the curious part of him. He's feeling like, you're so happy. What are you doing in your life? What do you know? Would you have a secret that I don't know about? Like, I want to get to know this the curiosity in him because you're not telling him too much. He just sees that you're happy. He wants to know what's going on there. Okay. He's also thinking, um, what kind of a life do you have that yours makes you so happy, right? What I want to know what's what it is. Um, how do you, how do you think that? How are you, how do you think what's your mindset that makes you so happy and that makes you um so excited about picking it out ahead of cabbage, right? Um, and how do you spend your time? I'm curious. I see that you're doing this. What else do you do? What else do you have going on? He is curious. Um, again, you're giving him enough to know that you're happy and he wants to know a little bit more. Curiosity is the feeling that you want to have in him because curiosity makes him interested. It makes him create desire. Desire makes him get more dopamine. Dopamine um makes him have um uh um uh testosterone. The pursuit spot you're moving around, so he's following you around. The pursuit spot lights up, he's filled with testosterone, he comes over. He's like, I gotta know who this is. Like, who is this woman? Men who are masculine go after what they want. Men who do not go after what they want, they're not interested. They're not attracted, or they're not masculine men. You do not want a man who's not interested in you. You do not want a man who's not attracted to you. You do not want a man who's not masculine. Meaning, if he's not masculine, I mean he's not emotionally available. He's not a good man. He doesn't have high values. He doesn't have a vision. He doesn't have goals in his life. He doesn't have he's not driven. He's not confident. He's not a protector. He's not a provider. You don't want a guy that's just like, well, if she comes up to me, then I'll take her because, like, I mean, she just came to me. You're lazy. No effort. Who wants a lazy, no effort guy? I don't. I hope you don't either, girl. You deserve better, right? So um, you want him curious. When a man is curious and he's interested and there's attraction, pursuit spot lights up, you're moving around, he's coming towards you. Signs that he's interested, he's coming towards you. He's chasing you. Chasing, chasing, chasing. He needs to chase. This is the first and most important step in the process. He needs to be pursuing you. That means he's interested. Um, actions that you need to be doing. These are the things that you need to be doing. Moving around. Um, his vision is designed to see moving, right? Moving objects. You need to be doing things that you love, things that are making you making your life better. Work, play, hobbies. Um, you're in service. You're running tax, you're you're running, you're doing um your tours and your tasks, right? You have to go to the you're at the post office, right? You're at Target buying lotion and shaving cream. Um, you are at um you're at a museum because you wanted to see this new art exhibit, you know? You're at church because you love praising God every week. You you're in Bible study because you want to read the word. Um, you're in a new networking group for online entrepreneurs because you're a coach and that's where you want to meet other people that are doing the things that you're doing. You want to be surrounded by people with the same mindset, right? What are you doing in your life? Um, focus on your life. This is what you should be doing. In this stage, you should just be living your life. When a man wants to, he'll come to you. Focus on your life. You move around your life, okay? Um, your schedule, um, your priorities. Um, you um, you should be smiling, you should be laughing, you should be present, you should be focused. Why are you doing things that are making you mad? Why are you doing things that aren't making you smile? Why are you doing things that you're not even focused on and you're like you wish you could be somewhere else? This this is this is proof that you're you have a life that you aren't liking. And if you have a life that you don't like, he is not gonna be interested in joining a life that you don't even like. This is so important. So, so important. So why aren't you living a life and creating a life that you love? If you want to take a dance class, why aren't you taking it? If you want to be um learning the guitar, why aren't you learning it? If you want to go to law school, why aren't you in law school? If you want to survey your church, why aren't you serving? If you want to um go take swimming lessons, why aren't you taking swimming lessons? If you want to learn baseball, why aren't you doing it? Ask yourself these questions. Live when you are focused on yourself and building a life you want, you will be so attractive, you will be so happy, men will flock to you. One of the biggest reasons that you don't have um a man interested in you, men aren't pursuing you, is because you aren't happy. And the reason one of the reasons that you're not happy is because you're not creating a life that you love. You're stuck at home all the time. Maybe you're in fear and doubt, insecurity, um, you are overweight, you don't have energy, you're always coping with food and it's making you gain weight, so you have no confidence. Are you um just overeating and just you know, just let's think of the things that you're doing that um that don't make you attractive and happy and moving around. You're just stuck sitting still. Should be moving, okay? When you are, what what happens when you're moving around, living your life? He will come to you when he's interested because you're attractive, okay? Um, things you should be saying, um, and verbally and you know, like in your mind, right? I'm busy, but I could be free, right? He asks you out. Maybe, you know, I'm I'm busy, but I could be free. I might be open to that, right? Time will tell. That sounds like fun. These are things that um uh you would be like thinking that when you're busy doing something and somebody comes up to you out of nowhere and asks to get to know you more, or somebody, or you let's say you do know him and and he wants to ask you out. The reason you're busy and you could be free and you might be open to that, and time will tell is because you're not rushing, is because you have a busy schedule. It's because you have a life you love and you have things on your calendar because you have a life that you've created that you love. And when he asks you, it might be that you're not available here. Like you have to check your, you literally have to check your calendar, right? This isn't fake. We're not, we're not, we're not faking our lives. Um, one of the most important things that I teach my clients in my coaching program is um, do you have um do you have a life that you love? Are you creating a life that um you're excited to wake up to every day, right? Um, I know I do. I I wake up, I literally wake up every day excited to get out of bed. I I I want to wake up at four in the morning. I have so much, so many fun things to do every day that I I'm really excited about. Um, and um this is it's a I realize it's a blessing, it's a luxury, but this is I created this. I do what life was not always like this for me. This is why I'm creating this program now. I want you to learn these things, right? Um, and so because of this, because you don't know and and you're busy and you might be open to that, you have to check your calendar. This will create even more curiosity in him. It creates even more interest. Like, what does she do? What kind of a life does she have that she's so busy that when I asked her on Friday, you're like, I'm not available, but I can be available next Thursday. I'm I'm I we don't cancel our plans for guys, right? Um, and I say this in the most beautiful way. Why? You've created a life you love, these are things that are on your calendar. You created them because you want them to happen. We don't we don't stop um our life for a man. Women do this all the time, and this is one of the biggest things that gets them in trouble is they stop living the life they love because somebody paid attention to them and they're so enamored by it that they let their whole life go. I've done it. Many of you have done this before. We don't cancel our life just for a man. We make room for him and we'll say, you know, I'm not available this week, but I I'm available, ooh, actually, I'm not available for two weeks. Like sorry, but that's when I'm available. And if a guy wants to know you and get to know you, he will wait. And it just creates more curiosity, right? But you have to you have to think about it. If you're not busy, why aren't you busy? Why don't you have things on your calendar, right? And we're not gonna lie and make things up, right? But we do you do want to be living a life where you're busy and you have a lot of um what I call oxytocin. This is you'll notice that this is one of the things I'll be talking about in the next module. You should have a life that's creating a lot of dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. These are the four neurotransmitters that make you happy, that fill you up with joy. Um, if you don't have a life like this, you need to be creating it. Because this is what makes you happy, and this is what makes you attractive to a man. It makes him interested, curious, it makes him come over. Okay, because you're moving around. Um, when you um next, keep top the things that you want to keep top tip of top of mind. I'm I'm the prize, right? I'm the buyer. I get to decide. I'm qualifying him, right? I'm not gonna just jump at him. I get to decide. Um you're I'm the one determining if he's qualified to stay in my life or gain access to it, right? To to get to know more of you. He just saw you at the grocery store, at the post office, at Target, wherever. Um the other day I had a gentleman, um, I was buying some wine for for Mother's Day. Um, and I went to Target um and I oh, I was buying some um uh what's Mescal. And Target now has alcohol behind a glass case. So there's a really handsome man standing in front of it looking, I think he was looking for the alcohol he was looking for. And I stood up next, stood next to him and I walked in front of him. I said, excuse me, sorry, and walked in front of him and I stood next to him looking for the alcohol I was looking for. And he said, What do you what are you looking for? And I said, Oh, I'm looking for for some mescal. And he's like, Oh, which one? I was like, you know what? I don't see it here. Like, I thought that they sold mezcal here, but um, it's so weird, I don't say it. And he's he starts helping me look. He's like, I don't see any. I was like, I see tequila, it should be there. And we started talking, and he was really, really, he's handsome, you know. I like the way he was dressed. It was like a Saturday afternoon. Um, such a cool guy. Um, they didn't have mezcal because that particular Target didn't have it. Um, and so I had to go to Total Wining and go get it there. But um I walked away um because then a woman had to come from Target and help us open the cabinet. And I walked away and he's like, have a good day, and I was like, have a good day. And and I I walked away. I'm not gonna be there and be like, so no, I'm busy, I have things to do. I got I had plans that day, right? I had I had plans with a friend that evening so I can play music and do fun stuff. Um but I had plans, I had somewhere to be. But um he talked to me. He struck, struck, he struck up conversation, he found a reason to talk to me. We could have easily stood there, ringed up the lady, she could have got us tequila. I got mine and we went to go, you know, we're ready to go. Um I asked him, I said, What are you buying? And he said, Oh, I'm getting this tequila. I was like, Oh, I love that one. It was a great brand, and it was the reposado, the kind of the brown tequila that I like. Um, so we talked about it, and and he was really nice. Um, maybe he probably had a girlfriend or something, because like, why wouldn't he have asked me for my number? No, I'm just kidding. I'm just joking. But um I looked at his hand, he didn't have a ring, um, but he could have been engaged or whatever, but he was nice to strike a conversation. So um um there are times where like I'll struggle conversation with people, but I never do it in an attempt to try to get a guy's attention and try to get him to talk to me. Um, but I will make it easy. Um, and I'll be I'll smile. I always say good morning or good afternoon to people when I walk by them so that they can see that I'm friendly and that I'm welcoming. Um, this is the next thing that I want to talk to you guys about, um, is um so that they can that they can come near and come talk to me. Men do not want to be rejected. Men do not want to fail. Rejection is failure to them, okay? And men do not want to get be rejected. So they want, they will come to you and they want to talk to a woman where there's at least almost a guarantee that they're gonna get a yes, that they're gonna get a win, that they will succeed, that they will win, that they don't they don't fail. So, some ways that you can let him know that he that you're open to come talk to you is make eye contact, okay? Look at him for more than just like a quick glance, a couple seconds, okay, and then look away. Um, smiling, okay. Um, having your body language to where he can see it, where it's open and he can and he is just like a straight path to you, or where he's near you, okay. Um, um, smiling or talking and saying, you know, just like saying something to him, like excuse me, or good morning, or good afternoon, or or like the way he talked to me, right? Or I talked to him. It's very, he's um the other, like there's one time where where um I went to the grocery store and um a gentleman, uh we both were, you know, like where they have fried chicken, like the rack where they have rotisserie chickens. Well, I got um a couple pieces of wings. They had wings there, and he got three he got three rotisserie chickens. I just grabbed three of them. He was this tall, handsome guy. I could tell he just left the gym or something. He was like in workout clothes. And I remember thinking, dang, he wants that protein, right? So we both grabbed what we grab, and then we both like started walking together. We both walked to the same line. He walked in front of me and I walked, I stood behind him. And I could just tell, like, he was like, put his phone away. I had my phone away. I make sure when I go places, um, I don't have my phone out. I have I can make eye contact. This is another thing that I want to share with you. Is um have your if you're single and you want to meet people, don't have, do not have your phone out. Make sure you have it away. Don't have earpieces on. People would think that you're listening to something and they're not gonna talk to you. They think that you're not available to talk to. So make sure you have your eye contact, you're you're looking at things, you're smiling, you look welcoming, um, your energy feels good. Um, and um, he put his chicken up there um and I put my chicken behind him. He put the separator and I can tell I get on looking at me. Um and I was like, we both had the same idea for dinner, and he's like, Yeah, we didn't. And um we had a the gentleman in front of him was checking out. This guy could not get his credit cards working, I don't know what it was. But this guy in front of me had so much time to talk to me, never talked to me after that. I made it very easy for him. I was like, Oh, we both have the same idea for dinner. He's like, Yeah, chicken, you know. Um, but he didn't talk to me again. I didn't I made it easy, but um, I was smiling, my phone was away, I was not talking to anybody else. Um, I also had and then I had an instance where I was at total wine and I was getting wine, and it was Veterans Day, and there was um long line, and there was, I was walking up, handsome, handsome man in front of me. Um, and then I was walking up, and this older, older, older, older, I mean like in his 70s, 80s gentleman was walking up. So we both walked up, and uh and he's like, Go ahead, and I was like, Oh, nope. I was like, it's Veterans Day, come on. And he was wearing a Marines, like an old like Navy or Marines hat. And I said, It's Veterans Day, of course you're gonna go in front of me. And he's like, Thank you. I said, Happy Veterans Day, thanks for your service. And he's like, Thank you. And then, um, so then this older gentleman is behind me. I didn't see him, but he the older man in front of me, and then there's this handsome man in front of him. Um, we're all looking at each other because the gentleman turned around, the handsome man turned around because he saw us talking, and and then the older man in front of me says, You better watch out for that guy in back of you. He bites. And I look, and there's an older man, he's wearing the same hat that he's wearing. They probably know each other. It's Veterans Day. And I said, You bite? I said, Maybe you should go in front of me so that way you don't bite me. And he starts laughing. The cute gentleman in front of him, right? The the first guy, he's laughing. Um, and we're just having this fun talk. And he's just like, he's like, What do you think? What are you getting? And I was like, just a couple bottles of wine for, you know, to have for, I don't know, this is the time when I was drinking a lot. But I was like, a couple bottles of wine to have for the month or whatever. And he's like, it's good wine. Um, and but we were all talking, it was really fun. And that that guy could have chimed in, you know. Um, but um, I'm always willing to talk to people, I'm always happy, I'm always present. Um, notice if you have a welcoming energy, if you're happy, if you're smiling, if you're on your phone and you're just like, if you're on the phone, no one's gonna talk to you. Man isn't men aren't gonna talk to you. Um, and um, because they they want, they almost want a little bit of security, or like I like, okay, she's she's nice, or she's not gonna reject me. She's not gonna like get out of here. If you have a welcoming energy of your fun, um, or you're talking to other people, he'll say, Oh, she's talking to him. He'll hope she'll probably talk to me. Yeah. Um, and so I'm very playful, I'm not flirt overly flirtatious whatsoever. I'm just very fun and happy. And um, this is a really great way um to be. So men can see that um you're open and welcoming and they'll talk to you, okay? Right. So um they'll they'll he'll be interested and he'll want to make the move. Okay. What not to do? Do not go to him. Do not walk over to a guy and say, Hey, how are you? or whatever. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He needs to come to you, always, right? Don't say too much. Don't just like start blabbing about your trauma and your mom and your kids and your husband and your just a little bit of information. Leave make him curious. You don't want to give him everything, it leaves nothing to the imagination. He needs to be like, Who is this woman? She only told me this, like, that's it. Don't say a lot, okay? Um, don't give him too much personal information. Again, oh, I live here, I live over there, I'm all I'm going to work, I just came from. You don't need it, he doesn't need it and all that stuff. Let him not know. I don't know where she was going, where she was from, where she like what she does for a living, I don't know, anything. And do not give him any compliments. Um, I say this because a man should always be your desire for him, your whether you like him or not, whether you're interested in him, interested in him or not, should be at question. It should be a question in his mind. There should always be a curiosity for him. There should be anticipation there. If you tell him, I like him, you're I like you, you're so handsome, oh my god, your eyes, oh you're so tall, you're dressed so nice, your car, your job, your money, what do you do? If you're giving him way too many compliments, there's too much confidence there. There's no curiosity, there's no anticipation. I got it in the bag. There's no thrill of the chase. Don't give him too much. Remember, men fall in love by giving. If you give way too much, even information, even compliments, especially information that you're interested in. If you give interest and you give information and you give compliments, there's no curiosity, there's no thrill to the chase. Okay. Um, all right, so I'm gonna close this up right here and I'm gonna come back and end this in a couple minutes.